HERE

We are here. Not settled, but approaching normalcy in some ways. I am still discovering all that I left behind while finding balance here. I have traded companions for lunch dates and a support system for a husband. I didn't realize that I was choosing between good things until I had already made a choice. There is strange sense of isolation here in this grand adventure, one I will prove to overcome or change, that is my nature. And to my great sadness, there is not a single fabric shop within 15 minutes of where I live. One would have thought I would have checked on that. I can walk to the grocery store but not to the pool. In fact, there is no pool. For some reason that saddens me the most. Summer should be spent in getting dirty and then rinsing off followed by a series of repeats. I am still busy, managing and arranging. I know this all sounds rather melancholy but I am still mourning my old rhythms, my old ideals, hoping that I will find some kind of solace or joy in new things, new relationships. Meanwhile I continue to stick to what I brought with me, laughter from small faces, giggles from little bellies, needle and thread and new time with a husband who was unknowingly very far removed from my life. It's has been amazing rediscovering all that was lost in our relationship due to sheer survival. Things that had been left unsaid, jokes that were never passed on, moments that couldn't be shared, how all this has begun to float to the top, begging to be sorted. Thank you life for handing us this time to just be and exist. It was much needed.

ps. did i mention that my husband comes home for lunch.... i let out a small squeal everything i think about it.